


Only By the Grace of You

by mouthydark



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal, Bottom Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mark of Cain, Oral Sex, Post-Demon Dean, Smut, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 17:26:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3863161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouthydark/pseuds/mouthydark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mark of Cain is threatening to overtake Dean when Castiel is called in to watch over him for an evening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only By the Grace of You

**Author's Note:**

> I did one sweet story, so I thought I would try my hand at a dirty one. I'm blushing.

Dean sat in relative darkness on the edge of the cheap motel bed covered in the filthy remnants of the hunt he and Sam had just completed. He stared at nothing, a faraway look in his eyes that he knew would cause concern if anyone else had been in the room to see. It was still fairly early in the evening, and a small amount of sunlight made it past the heavy curtains that covered the window. Blood was splattered on his face and clothes. His hair was darkened and matted with it. The mark on his arm burned slightly, but seemed at least half fed for the time being. He brought a bottle of cheap whiskey to his lips and took a long swig of the stuff, trying hard to find some peace from what the mark was doing to him. 

He could feel murder and rage rushing through his veins. When they hunted, Dean fed the mark, which simultaneously made it stronger and weaker at the same time. He didn't know how much longer he could keep up this game. He didn't know how long it would be until he did something he couldn't take back...hurt Sammy...hurt Cas. He also wasn't sure how much longer he could keep pretending he was alright for them. He rubbed a calloused hand over him face, and choked back a quiet sob, then brought the bottle back to his lips, drinking deeply.

Sam was currently in the shower washing his own keepsakes of the hunt from his flesh as Dean sat in the dark, taking drink after drink and willing the burn of the liquid to cleanse him from the inside out. He was waiting for his turn, even though he knew the shower would do very little to actually make him clean. Dean felt like he would never be clean again, not after being a demon, not after trying to smash his brother's skull open with the claw-end of a hammer. 

Dean thought then about how Cas had stepped in at the last second, after Sammy refused to save himself by slitting Dean's throat. He shuddered. Dean had been ready to rip Sam apart. But thankfully, Cas had arrived just in time and fresh full of angel juice. He thanked God every day for Cas's intervention. He thanked God for the months of humanity Cas and Sam had returned to him, even if he knew in his heart it was a battle they couldn't win. 

Slipping off his heavy boots, Dean heard the water in the bathroom turn off. He knew he couldn't let Sammy find him like this, so he quickly flipped on the lamp and tossed the empty whiskey bottle into the night stand drawer. He pulled off the bloody shirt, wiping his face as he did so, and tossed it into the corner just as Sam walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but jeans.

"It's all yours, Dean," he said with water dripping from his long hair. Dean grinned up at him, and replied, "Yeah, after you used all the hot water, bitch."

Sammy smirked, and said, "Jerk," as he pulled on a v-neck t-shirt over his head. "Hey, I have to go and do a little more research before we hit the road. You gonna be okay by yourself for a while? I will probably be gone a few hours at least." He could see concern in Sammy's eyes, and he hated it.

Dean also hated the idea of being alone. "Yeah, man, do what you gotta do. I have a shower and magic fingers waiting on me," he said jerking his head towards the coin slot next to him. 

Sam looked at him with a neutral expression on his face, and Dean wondered if his brother could tell how broken he really was inside. "Okay, call me if you need me," he said finally, and headed out the door.

Dean stood up, his body protesting under the sudden crushing loneliness he felt. He trudged his way into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and then stood looking at the crusted blood on his face and neck in the mirror. He wanted to punch his reflection repeatedly, until the glass was nothing but powder, until his knuckles were reduced to pulp. Instead, he removed the rest of his clothes and stepped under the stream of water to wash away what filth he could manage.

\-----------

Dean finished his shower, and wrapped a towel low around his waist. He rubbed the steam from the mirror and inspected himself to make sure he would be presentable for when Sam returned. His skin was clean. He was still somewhat drunk from the bottle he had downed before his brother left.

Dean left the bathroom and jumped when he saw Castiel sitting in the worn out chair in the corner. "Shit, man, we've talked about this." The words came out more harshly than he had intended, but the angel had fucking startled him.

"Hello, Dean. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said in his low, gravelly voice. "Sam called me. He said he was going out, and he wondered if I could come and make sure you were okay."

Fuck. So Sammy had sensed he wasn't as alright as he had tried to make it seem. "I'm not a piece of glass, and I'm not going to break from being alone for a few hours, Cas," he sighed, all the fight taken out of him in one fell swoop. "You got somewhere else you need to be?"

Cas never took his eyes away from Dean, as if it wasn't awkward at all that he was standing there in nothing but a towel and dripping water all over the place. "No. I don't. I don't mind staying and 'hanging' with you, Dean," he said tilting his head slightly.

Dean ran his hand through his wet hair. "Okay, you can stay. Can I at least get dressed?" Cas smiled. He had a very calming smile. "Of course," he said and was instantly gone. Dean still wasn't used to Cas having his own grace back and being up to full mojo. He hadn't seen the angel transport in a long time.

Dean quickly pulled on a pair of sweats and a thin gray t-shirt. He had decided to tell Sammy he needed to rest instead of making the hours long drive back to the bunker tonight. He was buzzed and he was exhausted. A few minutes later, there was a light knock at the door, and Dean shuffled over to answer it, already knowing who it was. 

He opened up, and there was Cas, respecting his wishes to not be startled again. "Come on in, I guess. I'm going to drink, and I don't want to hear a word about it," he growled. 

Cas just tilted his head again and entered the room, his trench coat flapping behind him. He had learned a lot in his time without grace, but he was still an angel, and he was still awkward as hell sometimes, Dean thought. 

Dean flicked on the TV and found some nature crap, because he knew that would keep Cas entertained while he drank himself into oblivion. With any luck, he would be passed out before Sammy got back. 

Cas and Dean sat in comfortable silence, Cas back in his chair, and Dean laying casually on the bed. Two more bottles down, a very drunk Dean pumped a couple of quarters in the Magic Fingers slot. The bed began to shake and he gave a somewhat contented grunt. He noticed Castiel staring at him. "What?" he slurred.

Cas averted his eyes, and replied, "Oh, nothing, I have just heard you and Sam talking about these 'magic fingers,' but I've never actually tried them myself." The angel seemed mildly embarrassed.

Dean patted the bed next to him. "Well, come onnnn downnnn, Castiel, and see what you have won!" He gave a short, humorless laugh. Cas reluctantly stood up and walked over to the bed, sitting down. 

"This...this is quite remarkable," he said, his deep voice vibrating with the movement of the bed.

"Go 'head, man, lay down and try it out," a somewhat bleary eyed Dean ordered.

Cas rested his head back on the pillows and closed his eyes. "I can see why Sam says you enjoy this so much."

Drunk Dean glanced at him through the slit of one eye, and commented, "Yep, this is the lap of luxury right here my friend." He reached over and punched Cas lightly on the shoulder.

Fifteen minutes passed, and then the bed suddenly came to a halt. Cas moved to get up and return to his chair, but Dean rested his hand on his arm to halt him.

Dean didn't even know why the hell he did it. He just suddenly didn't want to be alone, he supposed. He wanted a body next to him. It wasn't as if he'd been laid since Sam and Cas had changed him back from a demon. The truth was, Dean felt more alone than he had even in Hell. 

"Cas..." He hesitated. "Cas, would you mind if I...if I held you a little." Human contact, he told himself. That was exactly what he needed. It would remind him that he was still human, too.

The angel was silent, and then he quickly stood up. Immediately, Dean felt incredibly stupid. He glanced up, and saw that Cas was removing his trench coat and tie, and laying them neatly over the back of the chair before laying back down, much closer to Dean this time. 

Dean sighed and pulled the angel in, one arm under Cas's head and the other thrown over his middle. "This is a total bro moment, dude," he murmured, even though he knew that was bullshit, because bros didn't get shit faced and cuddle each other.

"Dean, if this gives you comfort, then it is something I want to do," the angel said resting his hand on his friend's cheek. Something about those slender fingers brushing lightly against his stubbled face caused his breath to quicken, and he turned his head so his green eyes were directly facing Cas's blue ones. 

Before he could stop himself, he brushed his lips against the angel's. Cas looked startled, but he didn't pull away. Dean had never kissed a man before. Hell, he had never even laid this close to a man before in his entire life, had never wanted to. But he realized in that moment, he felt lighter than he had since months ago when he had taken on the mark. 

"Cas, can you still see...my soul? You know, now that you have your mojo back?" he inquired, halfway not wanting to know the answer, because Dean knew his soul was trashed beyond repair by now.

Still close enough for Dean to feel his breath against his cheek, Cas replied, "I can. And it is still the brightest, most beautiful thing I have ever seen in all the millennia of my existence."

Dean sucked in a breath and then he pressed his lips back to Cas's, tasting him, and he realized that Cas was kissing him back. His heart sped up to the point of being painful in his chest. Dean reached up and knotted his fingers into Cas's unruly black hair, and he was surprised when Cas moaned softly into his mouth. Heat rushed into Dean's belly.

He pulled back again. "Cas," he panted, "does what we're doing here even phase you?"

Cas considered, a little breathless himself, then replied simply, "You and I have always had a profound bond." As if that explained everything, he leaned back in and pressed his forehead to Dean's. "It isn't as if I haven't thought about it, you know. You are the most remarkable human being I know."

Dean closed his eyes, shaking a little. This was all too much, but he also knew it wasn't enough. Their foreheads were still touching. Then hungrily, he grabbed the back of Castiel's head and resumed their kiss yet again. Dean's tongue slipped between his lips and grazed Cas's briefly, and that was it for Dean. He didn't know how he would feel sober, but in that moment, he was immediately all in.

They were panting into each other's open mouths, hands searching, exploring every hard edge of each other. Cas dug his fingers into Dean's back, and Dean arched into the touch like a thirsty man dove into clean, cool water. "Oh my God, Cas," Dean moaned as the angel pulled Dean's shirt over his head. "Have you ever done this before?"

Running his hands over Dean's newly bared chest, Cas panted roughly, "No, only women, and only the few times you know of." Dean felt relief. They were going to be new to this together. Dean was unbuttoning Cas's shirt and pulling it from his shoulders. He climbed on top him, one leg between Cas's so that they were rubbing against each other's thighs. 

Dean groaned but never looked away from Cas's face as they slowly ground into each other, and he could feel the hardness between Castiel's legs. "Dean..." Cas sighed huskily. Dean's dick throbbed so much it hurt, but it was a good pain, a clean pain unlike the torture of the mark.

"Goddamn it, Cas," Dean said as he slowly worked kisses and tiny nips down the angel's chest. Cas was fisting handfuls of his short hair hard, and Dean fucking loved it. He reached between Cas's legs and under the fabric of his slacks to run his thumb over the rock he found there. Dean had never been so turned on in his life. He had fucked he didn't even know how many women, but it had never been like this. 

He felt a hand groping him through his sweats and he pushed into Cas's palm with his groin, moaning loudly. Taking the initiative he unzipped Cas and grasped his bare cock in his hand. "Cas, I wanna make you come." 

"Slow down, slow down," Cas whimpered into Dean's shoulder as he thrust into his fist. Dean had never had a cock in his mouth, but suddenly, he knew he wanted nothing more than to taste the length of Cas's hardness, to feast on it. He worked his way down, and somewhat unsure, but knowing what he himself appreciated in a blow job, he flicked Cas's slit with his tongue, then slowly licked from the head all the way down to the base in one broad motion. Cas flailed underneath him, and Dean peeked up to see the angel's face. His eyes were still on Dean, not clenched shut like he had imagined they would be. Cas gently rested his hand on the top of Dean's head and nodded, moaning loudly enough that if anyone was in the adjacent room, they would probably hear. Dean didn't give a shit if they did. He took all of Cas's cock into his mouth and tasted the pure salt of him, slowly moving up and down and sucking. Dean's hand cupped Castiel's balls and gently squeezed and another ragged sound ripped from Cas's throat. "Stop. Stop. I can't stand it," he yelled softly through gritted teeth. Dean moaned without removing his mouth from Cas.

Suddenly, Dean's mouth was full of Cas's come. It spurted out of him, hot and thick, and it sounded as if the angel was dying. Again, he gripped Dean's hair and pressed Dean's head down hard as he thrust upwards to meet his lips one last time. Dean couldn't believe how clean another man's spunk tasted on his tongue. He swallowed, reveling in it, treating it like an aged bourbon not to be wasted.

Dean clawed his way back up the bed and flopped down on his back, breathing heavily. Cas still seemed to be recovering from what had to have been a massive orgasm. Dean closed his eyes and couldn't believe how good he felt.

"Dean," Cas whispered into his cheek. "This isn't over. You took care of me, now I want to take care of you. I want you. I want you inside me." He said it almost shyly. Before Dean could respond, Cas was on top of him, again kissing, tasting his own essence on Dean's tongue. He ground himself down onto Dean's still rock-hard cock, riding him through his sweatpants. Dean grated his rough hands down Castiel's back, sure he was leaving scratches though he heard no complaints. 

"Cas. Cas...Are you sure about this? This is a whole different ball game. I don't...want to...hurt you," Dean panted between kisses.

"Oh, yes, I am very sure about this," Cas replied with lust in his eyes. "I want to feel you. All of you."

Dean almost came right then just from the way Cas was looking at him, but managed to hold it in. "Okay..." He flipped Cas onto his back, and removed his sweats. Now they were both completely naked, every inch of skin touching. Amazingly, even after blowing a huge load, Cas was already hard again, and their erections were rubbing together creating a delicious friction. 

Dean reached over the side of the bed into his duffle and pulled out a small jar. "What is that," Cas moaned. 

"Um. It's lotion. I don't usually have lube laying around. Sorry," Dean explained apologetically. It was actually the lotion he brought along with him to jerk off when Sam wasn't around...He poured some onto his hand, and massaged it onto himself before placing his body back between Cas's legs and spreading them gently with his palms. Reaching down he found the angel's hole, and tested it with the tip of one finger. "Cas, promise if it's too much, you will tell me to stop." Dean was really worried he was going to hurt him.

Castiel nodded, biting his lip. Dean slid one finger inside, and it was warm and tight. He had fucked a woman in the ass before, but goddamn. Gently, he slid in another finger, trying to loosen Cas up enough that he wouldn't hurt him. He slid his fingers around until Cas screamed, "Oh for fuck's sake, Dean, do it!" Whoa. Dean had never heard the angel drop an f-bomb before, and it turned him on even more. He positioned himself and slowly slid inside of Cas. Oh, God, was he even going to be able to make it all the way in before he came? Cas reached up, grabbed Dean's hips, and pulled him hard, causing him to slam all the way inside. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, yes," Cas chanted, his deep voice shaking. 

Cas grabbed his own cock and began to fuck his hand furiously, and Dean sped up sliding out and them slamming back into Cas's hole. Both of them were being pretty noisy, but Cas's repeated breathy moans of "fuck yes" drove Dean to his breaking point. He came hard, and the feeling seemed to stretch into eternity, just as white sticky fluid shot out of Cas's cock and onto his stomach at the same time. Dean collapsed into the mess, not giving a shit if he had to take another shower. Both Dean and Cas were breathless, sweat rolling from their brows, their bodies slick with it.

Dean rolled off of Cas and laid next to him, one arm thrown over the angel's chest, his cheek pressed into Cas's shoulder. "Cas...Castiel," he whispered.

Cas reached out his hand and placed a loving palm against Dean's cheek. "You're...Dean, you're different."

Dean didn't know what Cas meant. He felt tired. Happy for once. Safe. And then he noticed it. The rage was gone, the murderous contempt, all of it, gone. He glanced down at his arm and gasped. The fucking Mark of Cain was gone. "Holy shit, Cas, how'd that happen?" He murmured. "Did you do it?" He looked up into the angel's round blue eyes.

"No. I think we did it together, Dean. I think love did it." And Dean realized it was true, he did love Cas. With everything he had. 

"Love..." he said stupidly. "You saved me, again, Cas." Dean kissed Cas softly on his lips, and then they both laughed. Dean was free.

\-----------

Sam walked in to the motel room to find find a fully clothed Cas sleeping with his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean, only in his sweatpants, looked up and said quietly, "You might as well know, Sammy, me and him, we're a thing now. Like a real thing." 

Dean seemed good, the same as he had been ten years ago, happy and care-free. Sam chuckled softly and said, "Good for you, Dean. It's about damn time."


End file.
